Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Tuesday Humor

This post is dedicated to Mediumpetey, my most dedicated blogger and to “lit n up” for that great handle.

MP, with respect to your penchant for humor, the material is mine but feel free to use it. It is at God’s expense but I doubt He would mind, good- natured “Joe” that He is.

Creation Humor

So there God is on His day off, like anyone else trying to unwind with a round of golf with Peter and Michael and Gabriel. Taking His sweet time God gets to the third hole and swings mightily. The ball winds up in a sand trap. The Lord meanders over. After taking in the view, the Lord starts to swing away. Sand sprays all around and onto to Peter’s brand new robes but Peter rather likes the Lord and patiently cuts Him some slack. When the dust settles a little, in the far distance the foursome sees some newly formed land. They shrug and let the Lord continue away as the sand swirls around them, getting all of them dusty even more. But then again they look hither and yon and now this new land- mass is divided into mountains and valleys. To their consummate relief, the Lord finally dislodges the ball onto a nice fairway and the game resumes. Finally, sighs Peter in relief, brushing himself off. Then more trouble. On the seventh hole the Lord lands His ball in the water. Let the spraying begin, thinks Peter. The Lord swings away, stroke after stroke. In the clearing the foursome can see rivers and oceans streaming and roaring through the newly designed land- mass. Then the Lord raises His club to dislodge the ball. Standing there in his new wet robes wet, Peter sees no relief in sight. Peter grabs the Lord by His arm before the Lord can swing and demands to know: “Are You gonna’ play golf or just fool around here?”
(Source: Frank Previte, avid golfer)

And…more creation humor

It was one of those great sunny days and always being interested in what we humans are up to, Yahweh accepted an invitation from some scientists to spend the afternoon catching up on their latest developments. They were sitting around in the grass with Yahweh, who was relaxing lazily against an ancient oak. They were just about to adjourn for cocktails when one of the scientists tells Yahweh that scientists think they too can create man. Now all ears, Yahweh really perks up and leans forward. Yes, the scientist continues as he explains that they have discovered DNA and so many of its secrets and can now even clone. I mean really what else is there to it?

“Well this is indeed news”, Yahweh agrees. “Care to make it interesting?” the Lord challenges. The scientist says sure. “First, let’s see what you can do”, Yahweh begins, “I’ll make a man and then you make one.” And the scientists eagerly agree to Yahweh’s plan, anxious to demonstrate their new prowess. So Yahweh reaches down and lifts up a fistful of dirt and molds and squeezes and, viola`, there He produces man. “Your turn”, Yahweh says as He leans back into the tree again. The Lord invites the scientist to try his hand at it. So one scientist places his hand on the ground. Immediately Yahweh leans forward and puts His Hand over the scientist’s hand, preventing him from scooping up any dirt. Leaning very close to the surprised scientist, Yahweh looks him directly in the eye with that divine magnetism penetrating the scientist to the core. “Make your own dirt,” said the Lord with a gleam in His eye.
(Source: Sarah Greiner)

For more humor…see…. See the Dentist. This was passed on by a good friend.


Stay tuned.


lit n up said...

Creation Humor? Oxymoron? How about some thoughts about last nights council meeting, here in Flemington. I am more interested in hearing about what is happening in the community at large then a set up for a weekly sermon.

Courier News Flemington blog said...

Lit n up,

Weekly sermon???? I thought they were cute jokes and that Mediumpetey could use some new material.I found the "dentist" clip very funny. Sometimes people could just use a laugh or two.

Here is the sermon…
Anytime I write about the Boro council, I get my head handed to me. Here is the problem--- if I write about my thoughts about Boro council, I am nearly taken out and shot. I should be censored because I should not write about politics. And if I stay away from Boro council, well then I am failing to write on Boro council. You see the dilemma here, don’t you? Then I wrote about biker safety and I was mocked.If I write about a national issue, then I am not writing about Flemington. So I tell a few jokes and here again this is wrong...I love Flemington but I am really beginning to wonder here...

Regarding Boro council…

The meeting began with an executive session to discuss contracting with New Jersey American Water Company for access to water if necessary. (Unfortunately, in today’s Courier News it was reported that the New Jersey American Water Company "wants to raise rates by 23% to upgrade its lines and treatment plants and help it meet increased operating expenses", January 16, 2008, www.c-n.com or pp. A-3. I do not know if this will affect our rates.)

Appointment/assignment disputes were resolved and the new appointments/assignments should be available on the website, www.historicflemington.com. They were not announced at the meeting. Council members reported on their various committees.

A citizen raised several objections to the podcasting and keeping the Main Street snowflakes lit beyond the holidays and moving Boro Hall to Main Street if that is under consideration. I informed the council of safety issues regarding bikers at night and another citizen inquired about the well dug by Hunterdon Central, which turned out not be of use to us. Another citizen inquired as to whether we paid for watering the high school football field and the water supplied to the high school. We do not do either.

Numerous routine, beginning of the year resolutions were moved and the council adjourned to executive session to discuss the Hineline property on Main Street.

I believe minutes and agendas are posted on the Flemington website, www.historicflemington.com.

As for my thoughts….

Regarding podcasting: I think this should have been publicly discussed by the council for numerous reasons stated in a prior blog and some of which were cited by Lois Stewart at the meeting--- people may be uncomfortable, publicity changes people’s behavior. Boro council is less than 10 minutes from any Boro resident. It is better for citizens to attend the meetings personally and they do when matters of concern arise. Council members supporting podcasting cited convenience to those who cannot attend meetings. But my bottom line is, the pros or cons notwithstanding, the public should have been given an opportunity for input and council should have acted on the input.

Regarding snowflakes: They are pretty and perk us up in wintertime…if not terribly expensive to light up, we should let them shine. But I do understand we have a lot of folks on fixed incomes and we have to be careful to keep Flemington affordable for them. Councilwoman Edwards will meet with Ms. Stewart and review the agreements made last year regarding when the snowflakes will be dimmed. I believe it is around Valentine's Day.

Regarding biker safety: Mayor Hauck will refer this concern to Councilwoman Borucki when she returns from vacation. She will in turn call it to Police Chief Becker’s attention. I hope they can find a way to increase nighttime safety. Some one else told me they had an experience similar to mine last week also.

FYI : Matt DeBlass reports on Boro council meetings for the Hunterdon County Democrat. Although blogs include news pieces, they are primarily opinion pieces that are intended to generate discussion. Not a reporter, I try to pick topics to generate discussion. Again all council members are invited to submit items to this blog and I encourage them to do so.

Courier News Flemington blog said...

lit n up,

One more Boro council item...our new fire truck arrived last week.

lit n up said...

thanks for responding to my question - I appreciate hearing the readers digest version of the council meeting, especially since minutes take a bit to get approved and posted.

Religion and humor, sometimes an unlikely pair!

Courier News Flemington blog said...

lit n up,

My pleasure...I agree sometimes religion and humor are indeed an unlikely pair.